March 31st, 2020 I heard a shower running, and this is what woke me up from my sleep this morning. I checked my cellphone for the time and showed 5:52 a.m. I rolled over and saw Akash weighing himself like every morning he does before taking a shower. He waved at me as he saw me awake under the blanket covers. That is quite odd, a wave, I thought to myself. I am used to waking up to a kiss on my forehead or a soft whisper," babe it's 5:50 a.m." Lil baby astronaut gets a 'good morning baby' too from daddy, which was terribly missed on this somewhat chilly March dawn. I know our emotions were heightened over the past 2 weeks. Akash jumped into the shower, as I got my 5 and a half month pregnant belly and myself out of the bed. I made the bed by myself, which again was unusual, as Akash would always rescue me to make our bed in the mornings. I knew this Tuesday morning, the start of the workweek for us was not usual and felt scary for some reason. Of
Summer of 2018, I had been working as a hospitalist for 5 years. I had changed jobs in 2017 and was comfortably settled in the new job, the team, and the hospital staff. My husband and I had been married for a year and a half, we were getting comfortable living together, getting used to each other’s idiosyncrasies. I was about to graduate in 1 month from my master’s program. I was thinking about my next move after my masters. I was debating whether I should apply for another job using my masters’ degree or should I plan for a new project at my current job, or should I apply for a fellowship? As a physician, you are always looking to make the next move so you can achieve that goal. Always have a test to ace, do research, write the next essay/paper, get a residency, then get a fellowship, then get board certified, then get a job, be part of committees, get recertification. There is always the next goal to accomplish. You forget the joys of colors, music, reading stories, pla